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Grave Expectations: Planning the End Like There's No Tomorrow Paperback – January 20, 2009

by Sheila Bailey (Author), Carmen Flowers (Author)

4.2 23 ratings

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Everybody's going to die. Nobody gets out alive. Death is the one thing you can absolutely count on. Why then are people so reluctant to plan for it?

Full of humorous and poignant funeral stories and first-person accounts, Grave Expectations - Planning "The End" Like There's No Tomorrow, like the perennially popular wedding planners that line the shelves of every bookstore, is the ultimate handbook, packed with creative suggestions for realizing one's final wishes. This is a book that gives people permission to memorialize their lives on their own terms and in their own ways. This is a lively book about preparing for death; it's not a book to be afraid of. Who knew arranging a funeral could be fun?

Sue Bailey is the Vice President of On-Air promotion for HBO Original Programming. She oversees promotion for HBO original series such as The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, Deadwood and Rome, as well as HBO films including, Angels in America, Peter Sellers, Band of Brothers and Empire Falls. As a producer and as a creative director/executive producer, Sue has been the recipient of over one hundred national and international broadcast and design awards--New York Film and Television Festivals, Promax--Gold, Silver Bronze.Carmen Flowers has worked for The SONY Corporation, during which time she appeared on over two hundred news and talk shows around the country including Regis & Kathy Lee, Hour Magazine with Gary Collins and CNN. Carmen is credited with coining the words camcorder and walkman.

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Cider Mill Press is a publisher of high-quality cookbooks, elegant wine and spirits projects, humorous parodies, classic children's books, and more. We're proud to publish many celebrated titles, including the The Night Before Christmas. We combine top-notch design, unique formats, and fresh content to create truly innovative gift books.

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"Having difficulty mustering a celebratory mood in advance of what looks to be the grimmest of New Years? Why not just bury yourself in arrangements for the one event where all and sundry will be (you hope) truly bummed out -- your funeral. Who knows, you might even enjoy yourself. Especially if you consult Grave Expectations: Planning the End Like There's No Tomorrow,... Interspersed with practical if often wildly opinionated advice...and funereal factoids... this fill-in-the-blanks, do-it-yourself handbook will allow you to, as the chapter called "The Visitation/Viewing" has it, 'wake up to the possibilities.'" -- Alida Becker, New York Times blog "Paper Cuts"

"Few of us can face the idea of planning our own funerals - but authors Carmen Flowers and Sue Bailey argue we all should, and have fun while we're at it! In their book Grave Expectations, they spell out how to address 'death's pesky details' and ensure that your funeral really is about YOU. You won't be there, so you've got to do some things in advance, if you want to have a say." -- AARP Primetime Radio

About the Author

Sheila Bailey works in watercolor and digital media. In fact, it is this combination of tools that allows her to achieve her characteristic style. Sheila began her career as a designer and painter for Hallmark, Inc. Later, she became a featured designer at Will Vinton Studios. Formerly published under the name Sheila Lucas, Sheila Bailey has been writing and illustrating children's literature for more than a decade. Away from her brush, Sheila enjoys gardening and tending to her koi pond. She currently lives in Oregon.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ 160433021X
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Cider Mill Press; Illustrated edition (January 20, 2009)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 201 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9781604330212
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1604330212
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.4 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 4.71 x 1.04 x 7.17 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #3,035,716 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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S. E. West

SERIOUS, FUNNY, ENLIGHTENING, NECESSARY

Reviewed in the United States on August 31, 2011

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I bought this book a while ago, and have dipped in and out of it over time. I finally read it cover to cover this summer: why did I wait so long! Bailey and Flowers strike a remarkable balance between the sad reality of dying and death that so many of us do not want to face and the love and joy of celebrating life. This book has helped me think about death differently, and it is, I think, invaluable as a way to help loved ones who don't want to face their death to open up and start to express their wishes, their feelings, their hopes and fears, AND laugh at the same time. The 'fun facts' are illuminating and delightful. The many ways one can deal with a dead body are truly amazing--and thank goodness for green funeral practices! Last, I very much appreciate and laud the fact that this book helps you negotiate ones loved one's, and ones own, death without having to buy into--and pay a fortune to--the funeral home industry. An inspiring book.

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Maggie Davis

"Grave Expectations" Planning your final send off.

Reviewed in the United States on August 26, 2011

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I know this is going to sound strange since the book is about planning my funeral, but I could hardly put it down once I began reading. There was so much I learned which I plan on using (hopefully at a later date). "Grave Expectations" was not only informative, it was screaming funny in spots. I was in a quandry concerning which book to order, but I know I made the right decision. Have also shared it with friends.

I decided a long time ago I did not want a traditional funeral service. None of that somber, morbid stuff. I'm planning a party, a fiesta, with lots of Southern food, decorations, and friends. In fact, I've already started my party collection in a Rubbermaid tub. All my kids have to do is open the tub, and everything they ever wanted to know about my final wishes, wills, insurance policies, photos,etc. will be inside. How easy is that?

PS You're all invited!

One person found this helpful

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Alison Deyette

Wiity and Wise

Reviewed in the United States on February 13, 2009

I never knew dying could be so informative and at times funny. Carmen and Sue have made the process a lesson in relief, a chance to embrace life and question our inspirations and motives and much more. I actually enjoyed reading about how to take care of oneself before "it" happens for after it does happen. The authors inject humor and honesty into an otherwise uncomfortable subject. I was equally intrigued with all the historical information about funerals from the Capuchin monks and their preservative discovery in Palermo to locks of hair in jewelry to Lenin's upkeep.

2 people found this helpful

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Chastity

It was okay...

Reviewed in the United States on December 26, 2012

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I didn't like the workbook format of this book. I also don't want anyone to think that this is an adequate replacement for a written notarized will. It's nice for your loved ones to know your wishes, but you might want to think of pursuing more official documentation. I don't mean to trash the book- it's a good tool to open the discussion and thought process regarding your final wishes- it just wasn't what I was looking for.

2 people found this helpful

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Charlotte

Grave Expectations both serious and light-hearted

Reviewed in the United States on October 23, 2010

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Grave Expections by Carmen Flowers and Sue Bailey is something of an event planner for one's own dying and death. These women use a sense of humor to tackle the not-funny topic of dying and all the arrangements and technicalities that must be faced. By giving examples of situations that will be confronted and explaing strategies for dealing with them, Bailey and Flowers walk readers through the ands, buts, and what-ifs we and our families should know before D-day. This is a great little guide book for reducing fear and easing emotional and, often, financial stress that comes with the inevitable end of life. Grave Expectations helps its readers prepare to face death and after-death arrangements with a tool-kit of savvy - and sometimes even funny - insights.

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R.Brian Burkhardt

Funeral Planning| No help with the FD, too much writing

Reviewed in the United States on April 25, 2010

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There is too much writing required in this book, for the person who wants to plan their funeral.There are many cute facts about funerals written on the white background in the margin of this book.They are simply interesting things about funerals that have nothing to do with planning one's funeral.

This work has several pages that warn you about Funeral Directors, but gives no concrete advice on how to deal with the sales professionals you will negotiate your funeral contract with. There is no real advice beyond "Don't let anyone push you around or embarrass you. Go to the internet and check out all the options you have choose from"(page 53). This is poor advice as the places to plan your funeral online are too numerous to count.Some are very good and others not so good. A little guidance on this would have been helpful.

There ARE NO WORDS in the book on how to deal with funeral pre need or prepaying for a funeral, which is how many folks deal with a funeral in North America. Many folks have been taken and lost money in preneed funeral schemes. Not to mention the Prepaid Funeral and the pitfalls involved makes this work inadequate.

In Chapter 10 the idea of A Funeral Rehearsal dinner that one attends before one's death is a very creative idea, and thoughtful. But in many death circumstances(sudden death,long hospitalization) it is not at all possible.

The book offers some falsehoods when looking for an urn on line. On Page 96 the authors state that the International Cemetery and Funeral Association and the National Funeral Directors Association police online establishments that sell funeral goods and services..(Page 96) The sad truth is that these organizations simply are not setup to do this. They do not even police their own members, and could not even if they wanted to. The fact that the authors allowed that to be printed indicates a lack of understanding about funerals and the funeral business.

There is much more that can be said about this book.One star because it is an incomplete and too tedious(too much writing) exercise in planning your funeral.

13 people found this helpful

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Johnnie Y. Hawkes

VERY IMPORTANT. BRINGS UP GREAT INFO, THAT YOUR FAMILY NEEDS, WHEN YOU HAVE PASSED.

Reviewed in the United States on June 27, 2021

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COMFORTING, KNOWING SO MUCH. MAKING A RECORD OF YOUR WISHES...THAT'S A GREAT GIFT TO YOUR LOVED ONES. and avoid fights in the family!

One person found this helpful

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Michelle Garrett

Makes a difficult topic quite fun

Reviewed in the United States on June 23, 2012

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This is a great book for hospice workers. The authors are witty and irreverant but help demistify the process of planning a funeral or memorial service. Their message is to start early, involve others and have fun since this is your last big hoorah. I found myself taking notes or laughing out loud. Wonderful suggestions and points to ponder.

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Grave Expectations: Planning the End Like There's No Tomorrow Paperback – January 20, 2009

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